Funeral Etiquette Archives - Page 4 of 4

Attending the funeral service of a loved one can be extremely difficult, especially if you have a little one in tow. While children aren’t held to the same standards as adults at a funeral, it is important to follow a few simple rules to show respect for the deceased and their loved ones. Your baby should be dressed appropriately for the funeral and should not distract the other attendees. You want to dress them for comfort, stick to dark colors, choose nicer outfits, and bring a change of clothes should they need them. But don’t overthink it, as it’s not a big deal. In this article, I will further explain how to appropriately dress your baby for the funeral service. I will also give example outfits for little boys and girls, and example accessories that may be helpful for your child during the service. Taking a Baby To a Funeral Whether or not you should take a baby to a funeral is highly debated. Some studies show that children under the age of seven show little to no psychological benefits from attending the funeral service of a loved one. However, children who express interest in attending or have no other supervision during the service are generally welcome to attend. If you choose to bring a baby to a funeral service, there are a few things to consider when selecting what outfit they should wear and other accessories you should bring for them. 1. Dress Them for Comfort The number one thing to keep in mind when dressing your baby for a funeral service is comfort. Your child will likely have to sit still for long periods, so putting them in an outfit they will be comfortable in is best. Make sure their outfit isn’t too tight and that they can comfortably move around in it. Choose Soft Fabrics Along with dressing them in clothes that fit comfortably, you will want to make sure the fabrics you choose are comfortable as well. It is best to avoid materials that may be itchy, stiff, or otherwise uncomfortable. Instead, opt for clothing that is soft, breathable, and light. Remember that because your baby will be sitting and likely squirming in their seat, you will want to choose an outfit that won’t rub them while they are moving around. Not only could this cause a rash on your baby’s skin, but it may also make them cry out in discomfort. Dress Them for the Weather When dressing for comfort, you will also want to check the weather. Be sure to bring layers if it is chilly outside or if it may be cold in the funeral home. Layers will allow you to cover your child while outside and remove excess clothing that may not be needed while inside. Bringing an extra jacket or sweater will allow you to quickly warm up your baby if it is chillier inside than you expected. Rain is also something you’ll want to consider. A rain jacket or umbrella may be necessary if bad weather is forecast. If your baby is walking, you may want to bring rain boots or a change of clothes/shoes just in case they get wet. 2. Stick to Dark Colors While funeral dress codes aren’t as strict for children, it is still a good idea to stick to a darker color scheme. Choosing an outfit that is black or darker colored would be best. It is also acceptable to dress them in white or neutral colors if darker colors are unavailable. It is generally best to avoid bright colors, glitter, patterned, or logoed clothing for children. This attire will stick out at a funeral and draw attention to your child. Drawing attention away from the deceased and their family is typically considered disrespectful, so it is best to avoid that. There is one exception to this clothing rule. If the deceased gave your child a special outfit or requested specific attire, it is acceptable to break this rule. Use your best judgment to bring respect and positivity to the service. 3. Choose Nicer Clothing You don’t need to go out and buy a new suit or dress for your child to attend the funeral, but it is best to dress them in nicer clothes for the service. Clothing that is too casual can appear inappropriate, while formal attire is a way to show respect to the deceased and their loved ones. A good rule of thumb is to choose an outfit that your child could wear to a wedding or a religious ceremony. Attire that will work in those situations will likely be appropriate for a funeral. Put Them in Formal Shoes One thing that often gets overlooked in baby outfits is footwear. If your child is old enough to wear shoes, put them in more formal footwear than sandals or sneakers. If your baby is not old enough to wear shoes, dress socks, or a nicer pair of booties will do. There is no need to go out and buy an expensive pair of baby shoes for the event but try to find something that will go with their outfit. 4. Bring a Change of Clothes Another outfit tip is to bring a change of clothes. Children can be messy, and babies sometimes spit up on their clothes. Having a spare top or outfit is a great way to ensure they look sharp throughout the entire service. If you don’t have two formal outfits for your child, you can bring a spare outfit that is plain and dark-colored. You and your child should blend in and be comfortable during the service. Going out of your way to buy an additional formal outfit is unnecessary. 5. Don’t Forget Accessories One of the most important aspects of a baby’s attire for the funeral is the accessories. By accessories, I mean the extra items your baby will need to comfortably and quietly get through the service. In addition to the outfit your child will wear, you may want to consider bringing some of the following items to help distract your child throughout the service. Keep Your Child Entertained The most important thing at a funeral service is to be respectful. Even if your child is too young to understand what is happening, you’ll want to do your best to keep them quiet throughout the service. Here are a few distractions that you can bring to keep them quietly entertained: Comfort items: Comfort items such as a favorite blanket or stuffed animal are great to bring for your child. Not only will this help your child feel more comfortable while sitting still, but it can also be used as a comfort to help them deal with any negative emotions. Quiet toys: Toys are an excellent way to keep your child’s mind off of the service and any discomfort or annoyance they are feeling. It is best to opt for soft and quiet toys such as felt books or plush toys and avoid plastic toys that make noise and disrupt the service. Bottles/snacks: Though it is common for services to offer refreshments for adults, likely, your little one won’t be satisfied with those options. This is especially true if your baby is still being bottle-fed. Bring some of your child’s favorite snacks or extra formula if they get hungry and fussy. Devices: It is common to silence and put away all devices for a funeral service. However, if the only way your little one will stay quiet is by watching their favorite show or playing a game, give them some headphones and let them do it. The other attendees will understand and will appreciate the good behavior. Come Prepared In addition to bringing things to entertain your child, you will want to get some practical items to prepare for some inevitable situations. Remember that it is better to be prepared than caught off guard. Here are a few items you will want to bring with you to the service: Carrier or stroller: If your young one is too small to sit still on their own, you may want to bring in a stroller or carrier. While this may be a bit bulky, having a child in their seat is better than running around. It will also give your arms a break and be more comfortable for you and your child. Extra diapers: If your baby is still in diapers, you will want to make sure you bring extras. Even if you don’t plan to stay for the entire service, having an extra diaper or two will come in handy if your little one needs to go. Bibs: Bibs are a great way to keep your baby’s outfit tidy. They are handy if your baby is spitting up a lot or if your child is eating. Be sure to use a plain bib in a neutral color if you choose to use one. Pacifiers: If your baby enjoys their pacifier, be sure to bring it with you to the funeral. A pacifier will keep your baby entertained, provide comfort in this unfamiliar environment, and keep them from being too loud during the service. Get Extra Help In addition to the items mentioned above, it is always good to bring someone else to help with the baby. It is best to choose someone that your child is familiar with, and that may be outside the immediate family. This way, if your child gets fussy, the other person can take them out of the room while you stay and mourn with your loved ones. 6. Don’t Overthink It The last tip for dressing your baby for a funeral is not to overthink it. Though it is best to dress your child appropriately and keep them quiet, if possible, your baby’s presence will likely bring joy to many attendees. Funerals are difficult, and while it is essential to give space for everyone to mourn, many will also be delighted to have a momentary reprieve from the sorrow. Example Outfits Now that we have gone over some outfit tips, here are some example outfits for your child and accessories that you can bring with you to the service. The following items can all be found on Amazon.com and are great options to consider for the service. Example Outfits for Baby Girls The following are great outfit and shoe options for a baby girl: Hudson Baby Girls’ Cotton Dress, Cardigan, and Shoe Set: This set comes with a breathable cotton dress, a cardigan, and dress shoes to match the outfit. BGFKS Baby Girl Tutu Dress with Headband: This lace dress has decorative sleeves and a flower headband. Meckior Infant Soft Sole Mary Jane Flats: These baby Mary Jane flats will pair perfectly with any dress you choose. Simplee kids Little Girls’ Ribbed Knit Sweater Dress: This simple black sweater dress is one your child can wear again for other occasions. Example Outfits for Baby Boys The following are great outfit and shoe options for a baby boy: Boarnseorl Baby Boy Gentleman Outfit: This set comes complete with a shirt, pants, suspender, bowtie, and cap.LONSOEN Slip-on Loafers: These baby loafers will pair well with any outfit you choose for your baby.ARTMINE Boys 3-Piece Vest Suit: This three-piece suit comes complete with a dress shirt, pants, vest, and bowtie.EGELEXY Baby Striped Vest Onesie: This onesie looks like a three-piece suit and comes with a tie for your handsome little one. Example Accessories To Bring Here are a few items that may be helpful for your child during the service: BeBe Mondo Fabric Sea Animal Book: This book of sea animals has a lot of textures and images to keep your child entertained. Pro Goleem Security Blanket: This security blanket comes in different animals and is soft and textured to comfort your baby. Haakaa Baby Food Feeder/Fruit Feeder Pacifier: This unique pacifier will help your baby stay entertained and satisfied by feeding them as they chew. Final Thoughts Bringing a small child to a funeral service can be difficult for you, the child, and the other attendees. Be sure to dress your baby respectfully in dark-colored, formal attire. It is also helpful to bring some distractions to keep your baby quietly entertained, extra essentials in case they are needed, and even someone to help in case the baby is fussy. Sources Science Direct: The Journal of Pediatrics: How do children and funerals mix?Beyond: Should Children Go To Funerals?Dignity Funerals: What to Wear to a FuneraliMortuary: Activities for Kids at a FuneralKids Health: Bereavement Reactions Of Children & Young People By Age GroupTharp Funeral Home and Crematory: Guidelines for What to Wear to a Funeral